HAMLET PRINCE OF DENMARK

Act 3 Scene 2

(Enter Prince Hamlet and two or three of the Players)
l1l	Hamlet	 Speak the speech, I pray you, as I pronounced
l2l		it to you—trippingly on the tongue# but if you mouth
l3l		it, as many of your players do, I had as lief the town-
l4l		crier had spoke my lines. Nor do not saw the air too
l5l		much with your hand, thus, but use all gently# for in
l6l		the very torrent, tempest, and as I may say the
l7l		whirlwind of your passion, you must acquire and beget
l8l		a temperance that may give it smoothness. O, it offends
l9l		me to the soul to hear a robustious, periwig-pated
l10l		fellow tear a passion to tatters, to very rags, to split
l11l		the ears of the groundlings, who for the most part are
l12l		capable of nothing but inexplicable dumb shows and
l13l		noise. I would have such a fellow whipped for o’erdoing
l14l		Termagant. It out-Herods Herod. Pray you avoid it.
l15l	A Player	I warrant your honour.
l16l	Hamlet	Be not too tame, neither# but let your own
l17l		discretion be your tutor. Suit the action to the word,
l18l		the word to the action, with this special observance:
l19l		that you o’erstep not the modesty of nature. For
l20l		anything so overdone is from the purpose of playing,
l21l		whose end, both at the first and now, was and is to
l22l		hold as ’twere the mirror up to nature, to show virtue
l23l		her own feature, scorn her own image, and the very
l24l		age and body of the time his form and pressure. Now
l25l		this overdone, or come tardy off, though it make the
l26l		unskilful laugh, cannot but make the judicious grieve#
l27l		the censure of the which one must in your allowance
l28l		o’erweigh a whole theatre of others. O, there be players
l29l		that I have seen play, and heard others praise, and
l30l		that highly, not to speak it profanely, that neither
l31l		having the accent of Christians nor the gait of Christian,
l32l		pagan, nor no man, have so strutted and bellowed that
l33l		I have thought some of nature’s journeymen had made
l34l		men, and not made them well, they imitated humanity
l35l		so abominably.
l36l	A Player	I hope we have reformed that indifferently with
l37l		us, sir.
l38l	Hamlet	O, reform it altogether. And let those that play
l39l		your clowns speak no more than is set down for them#
l40l		for there be of them that will themselves laugh to set
l41l		on some quantity of barren spectators to laugh too,
l42l		though in the mean time some necessary question of
l43l		the play be then to be considered. That’s villainous,
l44l		and shows a most pitiful ambition in the fool that uses
l45l		it. Go make you ready.
		(Exeunt Players)
l46l		(Enter Polonius, Guildenstern, and Rosencrantz)
		(To Polonius)
		 How now, my lord? Will the King hear
l47l		this piece of work?
l48l	Polonius	And the Queen too, and that presently.
l49l	Hamlet	Bid the players make haste.
		(Exit Polonius)
l50l		Will you two help to hasten them? 
	Rosencrantz And Guildenstern	We will, my lord.
		(Exeunt)
l51l	Hamlet	 What ho, Horatio!
		(Enter Horatio)
		
	Horatio	 Here, sweet lord, at your service.
l52l	Hamlet	Horatio, thou art e’en as just a man
l53l		As e’er my conversation coped withal.
l54l	Horatio	O my dear lord—
	Hamlet	Nay, do not think I flatter#
l55l		For what advancement may I hope from thee,
l56l		That no revenue hast but thy good spirits
l57l		To feed and clothe thee? Why should the poor be flattered?
l58l		No, let the candied tongue lick absurd pomp,
l59l		And crook the pregnant hinges of the knee
l60l		Where thrift may follow feigning. Dost thou hear?—
l61l		Since my dear soul was mistress of her choice
l62l		And could of men distinguish, her election
l63l		Hath sealed thee for herself# for thou hast been
l64l		As one in suff’ring all that suffers nothing,
l65l		A man that Fortune’s buffets and rewards
l66l		Hath ta’en with equal thanks# and blest are those
l67l		Whose blood and judgement are so well commingled
l68l		That they are not a pipe for Fortune’s finger
l69l		To sound what stop she please. Give me that man
l70l		That is not passion’s slave, and I will wear him
l71l		In my heart’s core, ay, in my heart of heart,
l72l		As I do thee. Something too much of this.
l73l		There is a play tonight before the King.
l74l		One scene of it comes near the circumstance
l75l		Which I have told thee of my father’s death.
l76l		I prithee, when thou seest that act afoot,
l77l		Even with the very comment of thy soul
l78l		Observe mine uncle. If his occulted guilt
l79l		Do not itself unkennel in one speech,
l80l		It is a damnèd ghost that we have seen,
l81l		And my imaginations are as foul
l82l		As Vulcan’s stithy. Give him heedful note,
l83l		For I mine eyes will rivet to his face,
l84l		And after, we will both our judgements join
l85l		To censure of his seeming.
	Horatio	Well, my lord.
l86l		If a steal aught the whilst this play is playing
l87l		And scape detecting, I will pay the theft.
		(Sound a flourish)
l88l	Hamlet	 They are coming to the play. I must be idle.
l89l		Get you a place.
		(Danish march. Enter King Claudius, Queen Gertrude, Polonius, Ophelia, Rosencrantz, Guildenstern, and other lords attendant, with the King's guard carrying torches)
		
	King Claudius	 How fares our cousin Hamlet?
l90l	Hamlet	 Excellent, i’ faith, of the chameleon’s dish. I eat
l91l		the air, promise-crammed. You cannot feed capons so.
l92l	King Claudius	I have nothing with this answer, Hamlet.
l93l		These words are not mine.
l94l	Hamlet	No, nor mine now.
		(To Polonius)
		 My lord, you
l95l		played once i’ th’ university, you say.
l96l	Polonius	That I did, my lord, and was accounted a good
l97l		actor.
l98l	Hamlet	And what did you enact?
l99l	Polonius	I did enact Julius Caesar. I was killed i’ th’
l100l		Capitol. Brutus killed me.
l101l	Hamlet	It was a brute part of him to kill so capital a calf
l102l		there.—Be the players ready?
l103l	Rosencrantz	Ay, my lord, they stay upon your patience.
l104l	Queen Gertrude	 Come hither, my good Hamlet. Sit by me.
l105l	Hamlet	 No, good-mother, here’s mettle more attractive.
		(He sits by Ophelia)
l106l	Polonius	(aside)
		 O ho, do you mark that?
l107l	Hamlet	(to Ophelia)
		 Lady, shall I lie in your lap?
l108l	Ophelia	No, my lord.
l109l	Hamlet	I mean my head upon your lap?
l110l	Ophelia	Ay, my lord.
l111l	Hamlet	Do you think I meant country matters?
l112l	Ophelia	I think nothing, my lord.
l113l	Hamlet	That’s a fair thought to lie between maids’ legs.
l114l	Ophelia	What is, my lord?
l115l	Hamlet	No thing.
l116l	Ophelia	You are merry, my lord.
l117l	Hamlet	Who, I?
l118l	Ophelia	Ay, my lord.
l119l	Hamlet	O God, your only jig-maker! What should a man
l120l		do but be merry? For look you how cheerfully my
l121l		mother looks, and my father died within ’s two hours.
l122l	Ophelia	Nay, ’tis twice two months, my lord.
l123l	Hamlet	So long? Nay then, let the devil wear black, for
l124l		I’ll have a suit of sables. O heavens, die two months
l125l		ago and not forgotten yet! Then there’s hope a great
l126l		man’s memory may outlive his life half a year. But,
l127l		by ’r Lady, a must build churches then, or else shall a
l128l		suffer not thinking on, with the hobby-horse, whose
l129l		epitaph is “For O, for O, the hobby-horse is forgot.”
		(Hautboys play. The dumb show enters. Enter a King and a Queen very lovingly, the Queen embracing him. She kneels and makes show of protestation unto him. He takes her up and declines his head upon her neck.)
l130l		He lays him down upon a bank of flowers. She, seeing him asleep, leaves him. Anon comes in a fellow, takes off his crown, kisses it, and pours poison in the King’s ears, and exits. The Queen returns, finds the King dead, and makes passionate action. The poisoner, with some two or three mutes, comes in again, seeming to lament with her. The dead body is carried away. The poisoner woos the Queen with gifts. She seems loath and unwilling a while, but in the end accepts his love. Exeunt the Players
	Ophelia	 What means this, my lord?
l131l	Hamlet	Marry, this is miching malhecho. That means
l132l		mischief.
l133l	Ophelia	Belike this show imports the argument of the play.
		( 133 Enter Prologue)
l134l	Hamlet	 We shall know by this fellow. The players cannot
l135l		keep counsel, they’ll tell all.
l136l	Ophelia	Will a tell us what this show meant?
l137l	Hamlet	Ay, or any show that you’ll show him. Be not
l138l		you ashamed to show, he’ll not shame to tell you what
l139l		it means.
l140l	Ophelia	You are naught, you are naught. I’ll mark the
l141l		play.
l142l	Prologue	 For us and for our tragedy
l143l		Here stooping to your clemency,
l144l		We beg your hearing patiently.
		(Exit)
l145l	Hamlet	 Is this a prologue, or the posy of a ring?
l146l	Ophelia	’Tis brief, my lord.
l147l	Hamlet	As woman’s love.
		(Enter the Player King and his Queen)
l148l	Player King	 Full thirty times hath Phoebus’ cart gone round
l149l		Neptune’s salt wash and Tellus’ orbèd ground,
l150l		And thirty dozen moons with borrowed sheen
l151l		About the world have times twelve thirties been
l152l		Since love our hearts and Hymen did our hands
l153l		Unite commutual in most sacred bands.
l154l	Player Queen	So many journeys may the sun and moon
l155l		Make us again count o’er ere love be done.
l156l		But woe is me, you are so sick of late,
l157l		So far from cheer and from your former state,
l158l		That I distrust you. Yet, though I distrust,
l159l		Discomfort you my lord it nothing must.
l160l		For women’s fear and love holds quantity,
l161l		In neither aught, or in extremity.
l162l		Now what my love is, proof hath made you know,
l163l		And as my love is sized, my fear is so.
l164l	Player King	Faith, I must leave thee, love, and shortly too.
l165l		My operant powers their functions leave to do,
l166l		And thou shalt live in this fair world behind,
l167l		Honoured, beloved# and haply one as kind
l168l		For husband shalt thou—
	Player Queen	O, confound the rest!
l169l		Such love must needs be treason in my breast.
l170l		In second husband let me be accurst#
l171l		None wed the second but who killed the first.
l172l	Hamlet	 Wormwood, wormwood.
l173l	Player Queen	 The instances that second marriage move
l174l		Are base respects of thrift, but none of love.
l175l		A second time I kill my husband dead
l176l		When second husband kisses me in bed.
l177l	Player King	I do believe you think what now you speak#
l178l		But what we do determine oft we break.
l179l		Purpose is but the slave to memory,
l180l		Of violent birth but poor validity,
l181l		Which now like fruit unripe sticks on the tree,
l182l		But fall unshaken when they mellow be.
l183l		Most necessary ’tis that we forget
l184l		To pay ourselves what to ourselves is debt.
l185l		What to ourselves in passion we propose,
l186l		The passion ending, doth the purpose lose.
l187l		The violence of either grief or joy
l188l		Their own enactures with themselves destroy.
l189l		Where joy most revels, grief doth most lament#
l190l		Grief joys, joy grieves, on slender accident.
l191l		This world is not for aye, nor ’tis not strange
l192l		That even our loves should with our fortunes change#
l193l		For ’tis a question left us yet to prove
l194l		Whether love lead fortune or else fortune love.
l195l		The great man down, you mark his favourite flies#
l196l		The poor advanced makes friends of enemies.
l197l		And hitherto doth love on fortune tend,
l198l		For who not needs shall never lack a friend,
l199l		And who in want a hollow friend doth try
l200l		Directly seasons him his enemy.
l201l		But orderly to end where I begun,
l202l		Our wills and fates do so contrary run
l203l		That our devices still are overthrown#
l204l		Our thoughts are ours, their ends none of our own.
l205l		So think thou wilt no second husband wed#
l206l		But die thy thoughts when thy first lord is dead.
l207l	Player Queen	Nor earth to me give food, nor heaven light,
l208l		Sport and repose lock from me day and night,
l209l		Each opposite that blanks the face of joy
l210l		Meet what I would have well and it destroy,
l211l		Both here and hence pursue me lasting strife
l212l		If, once a widow, ever I be wife.
l213l	Hamlet	 If she should break it now!
l214l	Player King	(to Player Queen)
		 ’Tis deeply sworn. Sweet, leave me here a while.
l215l		My spirits grow dull, and fain I would beguile
l216l		The tedious day with sleep.
	Player Queen	Sleep rock thy brain,
l217l		And never come mischance between us twain.
		(Player King sleeps. Player Queen exits)
l218l	Hamlet	(to Gertrude)
		 Madam, how like you this play?
l219l	Queen Gertrude	The lady protests too much, methinks.
l220l	Hamlet	O, but she’ll keep her word.
l221l	King Claudius	Have you heard the argument? Is there
l222l		no offence in ’t?
l223l	Hamlet	No, no, they do but jest, poison in jest. No offence
l224l		i’ th’ world.
l225l	King Claudius	What do you call the play?
l226l	Hamlet	The Mousetrap. Marry, how? Tropically. This play
l227l		is the image of a murder done in Vienna. Gonzago is
l228l		the Duke’s name, his wife Baptista. You shall see anon.
l229l		’Tis a knavish piece of work# but what o’ that? Your
l230l		majesty, and we that have free souls, it touches us not.
l231l		Let the galled jade wince, our withers are unwrung.
		(Enter Player Lucianus)
l232l		This is one Lucianus, nephew to the King.
l233l	Ophelia	You are as good as a chorus, my lord.
l234l	Hamlet	I could interpret between you and your love if I
l235l		could see the puppets dallying.
l236l	Ophelia	You are keen, my lord, you are keen.
l237l	Hamlet	It would cost you a groaning to take off mine edge.
l238l	Ophelia	Still better, and worse.
l239l	Hamlet	So you mis-take your husbands.
		(To Lucianus)
l240l		Begin, murderer. Pox, leave thy damnable faces and
l241l		begin. Come: “the croaking raven doth bellow for
l242l		revenge”.
l243l	Player Lucianus	 Thoughts black, hands apt, drugs fit, and time agreeing,
l244l		Confederate season, else no creature seeing#
l245l		Thou mixture rank of midnight weeds collected,
l246l		With Hecate’s ban thrice blasted, thrice infected,
l247l		Thy natural magic and dire property
l248l		On wholesome life usurp immediately.
		(He pours the poison in the Player King's ear)
l249l	Hamlet	 A poisons him i’ th’ garden for ’s estate. His
l250l		name’s Gonzago. The story is extant, and writ in choice
l251l		Italian. You shall see anon how the murderer gets the
l252l		love of Gonzago’s wife.
l253l	Ophelia	The King rises.
l254l	Hamlet	What, frighted with false fire?
l255l	Queen Gertrude	(to Claudius)
		 How fares my lord?
l256l	Polonius	Give o’er the play.
l257l	King Claudius	Give me some light. Away.
l258l	[Courtiers]	Lights, lights, lights!
		(Exeunt all but Hamlet and Horatio)
l259l	Hamlet	 Why, let the stricken deer go weep,
l260l		The hart ungallèd play,
l261l		For some must watch, while some must sleep,
l262l		So runs the world away.
l263l		Would not this, sir, and a forest of feathers, if the rest
l264l		of my fortunes turn Turk with me, with two Provencal
l265l		roses on my razed shoes, get me a fellowship in a cry
l266l		of players, sir?
l267l	Horatio	Half a share.
l268l	Hamlet	A whole one, I.
l269l		For thou dost know, O Damon dear,
l270l		This realm dismantled was
l271l		Of Jove himself, and now reigns here
l272l		A very, very—pajock.
l273l	Horatio	 You might have rhymed.
l274l	Hamlet	O good Horatio, I’ll take the Ghost’s word for a
l275l		thousand pound. Didst perceive?
l276l	Horatio	Very well, my lord.
l277l	Hamlet	Upon the talk of the pois’ning?
l278l	Horatio	I did very well note him.
		(Enter Rosencrantz and Guildenstern)
l279l	Hamlet	 Ah ha! Come, some music, come, the recorders,
l280l		For if the King like not the comedy,
l281l		Why then, belike he likes it not, pardie.
l282l		Come, some music.
l283l	Guildenstern	Good my lord, vouchsafe me a word with
l284l		you.
l285l	Hamlet	Sir, a whole history.
l286l	Guildenstern	The King, sir—
l287l	Hamlet	Ay, sir, what of him?
l288l	Guildenstern	Is in his retirement marvellous distempered.
l289l	Hamlet	With drink, sir?
l290l	Guildenstern	No, my lord, rather with choler.
l291l	Hamlet	Your wisdom should show itself more richer to
l292l		signify this to his doctor, for for me to put him to his
l293l		purgation would perhaps plunge him into far more
l294l		choler.
l295l	Guildenstern	Good my lord, put your discourse into some
l296l		frame, and start not so wildly from my affair.
l297l	Hamlet	I am tame, sir. Pronounce.
l298l	Guildenstern	The Queen your mother, in most great
l299l		affliction of spirit, hath sent me to you.
l300l	Hamlet	You are welcome.
l301l	Guildenstern	Nay, good my lord, this courtesy is not of
l302l		the right breed. If it shall please you to make me a
l303l		wholesome answer, I will do your mother’s
l304l		commandment# if not, your pardon and my return
l305l		shall be the end of my business.
l306l	Hamlet	Sir, I cannot.
l307l	Guildenstern	What, my lord?
l308l	Hamlet	Make you a wholesome answer. My wit’s
l309l		diseased. But, sir, such answers as I can make, you
l310l		shall command# or rather, as you say, my mother.
l311l		Therefore no more, but to the matter. My mother, you
l312l		say?
l313l	Rosencrantz	Then thus she says: your behaviour hath
l314l		struck her into amazement and admiration.
l315l	Hamlet	O wonderful son, that can so astonish a mother!
l316l		But is there no sequel at the heels of this mother’s
l317l		admiration?
l318l	Rosencrantz	She desires to speak with you in her closet
l319l		ere you go to bed.
l320l	Hamlet	We shall obey, were she ten times our mother.
l321l		Have you any further trade with us?
l322l	Rosencrantz	My lord, you once did love me.
l323l	Hamlet	So I do still, by these pickers and stealers.
l324l	Rosencrantz	Good my lord, what is your cause of
l325l		distemper? You do freely bar the door of your own
l326l		liberty if you deny your griefs to your friend.
l327l	Hamlet	Sir, I lack advancement.
l328l	Rosencrantz	How can that be when you have the voice
l329l		of the King himself for your succession in Denmark?
l330l	Hamlet	Ay, but “while the grass grows . . .”—the proverb
l331l		is something musty.
		(Enter one with a recorder)
l332l		O, the recorder. Let me see.
		(To Rosencrantz and)
l333l		Guildenstern, taking them aside) To withdraw with you,
l334l		why do you go about to recover the wind of me as if
l335l		you would drive me into a toil?
l336l	Guildenstern	O my lord, if my duty be too bold, my love
l337l		is too unmannerly.
l338l	Hamlet	I do not well understand that. Will you play
l339l		upon this pipe?
l340l	Guildenstern	My lord, I cannot.
l341l	Hamlet	I pray you.
l342l	Guildenstern	Believe me, I cannot.
l343l	Hamlet	I do beseech you.
l344l	Guildenstern	I know no touch of it, my lord.
l345l	Hamlet	’Tis as easy as lying. Govern these ventages with
l346l		your fingers and thumb, give it breath with your
l347l		mouth, and it will discourse most excellent music. Look
l348l		you, these are the stops.
l349l	Guildenstern	But these cannot I command to any
l350l		utterance of harmony. I have not the skill.
l351l	Hamlet	Why, look you now, how unworthy a thing you
l352l		make of me! You would play upon me, you would
l353l		seem to know my stops, you would pluck out the heart
l354l		of my mystery, you would sound me from my lowest
l355l		note to the top of my compass# and there is much
l356l		music, excellent voice in this little organ, yet cannot
l357l		you make it speak. ’Sblood, do you think I am easier
l358l		to be played on than a pipe? Call me what instrument
l359l		you will, though you can fret me, you cannot play
l360l		upon me.
		(Enter Polonius)
l361l		God bless you, sir.
l362l	Polonius	My lord, the Queen would speak with you, and
l363l		presently.
l364l	Hamlet	Do you see yonder cloud that’s almost in shape
l365l		of a camel?
l366l	Polonius	By th’ mass, and ’tis: like a camel, indeed.
l367l	Hamlet	Methinks it is like a weasel.
l368l	Polonius	It is backed like a weasel.
l369l	Hamlet	Or like a whale.
l370l	Polonius	Very like a whale.
l371l	Hamlet	Then will I come to my mother by and by.
		(Aside)
l372l		They fool me to the top of my bent.
		(To Polonius)
		 I will
l373l		come by and by.
l374l	Polonius	I will say so.
l375l	Hamlet	“By and by” is easily said.
		(Exit Polonius)
l376l		Leave me, friends.
		(Exeunt Rosencrantz and Guildenstern)
l377l		’Tis now the very witching time of night,
l378l		When churchyards yawn, and hell itself breathes out
l379l		Contagion to this world. Now could I drink hot blood,
l380l		And do such bitter business as the day
l381l		Would quake to look on. Soft, now to my mother.
l382l		O heart, lose not thy nature! Let not ever
l383l		The soul of Nero enter this firm bosom.
l384l		Let me be cruel, not unnatural.
l385l		I will speak daggers to her, but use none.
l386l		My tongue and soul in this be hypocrites—
l387l		How in my words somever she be shent,
l388l		To give them seals never my soul consent.
		(Exit)